Bernie's Bagels

Let Me Count The Ways

I can still smell the place. A small, basement bar just off the main drag in Columbus, Ohio. Legendary for sure. There was the Deli side and the bar side. The bar side was called “The Distillery” but everybody called it “Bernie’s.” It was the center of Yippie Punk Counter Culture of Columbus, Ohio. They had more variety of world beers on tap than anywhere in town and if you started a “passport” and tried all them you got your name engraved on a plaque and your own engraved mug hanging from a hook over the bar.

I was the doorman there for a spell. I was fired on my first day by Jack the boss, and then re-hired on the spot because there was nobody else to do the job. When a five foot six inch tall man gets a job working the door at a bar, you know it just be a mellow crowd. There were minor scuffles, but nothing that the big guys on hand couldn’t handle. I mean, if you have Rock and Roll music and alcohol around, there had better be a few bumps in the road, or else maybe you’re not doing it right.

After seeing JP Olsen play a lunch set there one day, I started The Woodpeckers with his ex-washtub bassist and my buddy from Akron named Joe Ciriello on Washboard. It was pure skiffle, and remained so even as we turned into The Kosher Spears and worked a bit with local musical hero Derek Dicenzo on upright bass. We would get the occasional show opening up for Rock bands that didn’t have much Roll to them, but we needed the work. We busked at art events and gallery hops, or just on High Street to. the late night drunkards. That was how we got our chops together, and how I began to write songs. Washboard Joe joined me on a few romps to Europe. We went through England, Holland, France, Italy, over to pre-Civil War Yugoslavia, and on to Prague and Poland as well. All of this was launched from plans made at Bernie’s and The Blue Danube, another Columbus, Ohio landmark that has been shuttered for years.

On my very first romp through Europe, I was wearing a Bernie’s Bagels T-shirt to a march for Nelson Mandela and was recognized in the crowd by a Columbus friend. I lost that shirt years ago, but gained a new one through an online company that prints vintage shirts. I saw a woman wearing one at a house show I played in Memphis the other day and she told me how to get one, so now I can drag that shirt with me around the world again as I prepare to go to France to work on a writing project.

My plan is to hover around the same streets I walked back in the early 90’s when I was a street musician/au pair. I am quite excited about this trip, a gift I bought myself for turning 59 this week. I have been planing it for a while. I am simply looking forward to walking those streets again and seeing what gets conjured. I will play two shows in France. House concerts and such. The vagabond ways will be at my fingertips again but this time I will be able to afford the good coffee and I won’t have to beg for tossed away fruits and vegetables at the markets like back in the day.

I will visit Shakespeare & Company, of course. And many other spots of my youth.

In so many ways, it was Bernie’s Bagels that set much of my vagabond life in motion. It was a vibrant place for radicals and worldly characters and such. It was there that I kind of learned how to run a soundboard, even though we never put microphones on much more than the singers in those days. The monitors weren’t really part of the show.

There was the day I ran sound for HARD BLACK THING. The lead singer had been banned from the bar so I ran a very long mic chord all the way to the outside basement area in the way back where many a joint had been smoked and just had him play and improvise on it while the band joined in from stage. There was the time the Royal Crescent Mob played every Wednesday for a month, long before they signed with Sire Records and toured the world. There was the night of Beck, of course, which folks like to chat about still.

It wasn’t really the kind of place that had good monitors. I still have trouble trusting them. To this day, I will turn them towards the audience when I can. That’s the school that I came from. The main thing I learned from working there was to treat my fellow sound techs with respect. There is nothing quite so demeaning than being called “sound guy" from stage from a guy in a half-assed funk band.

__________ On to writing news______

The area I am having difficulty with in my novel is reckoning this pre-cell phone past with today’s world of instant knowledge or instant lies, in many cases. The scary thing is that I could ask AI to write this book for me. I want to involve the future in this book without getting science fiction on you, but the reality is we are living in the ridiculousness of the now when I can have the computer write a song or a poem or a script or a novel or anything for me, and then tweak it a bit. I am going to work on how I make that part of the story as well. I want the central character to rebel against it and disappear into the woods with his own crew.

We shall see. I have met many charismatic tramps over the years. I will surely meet more, perhaps on this journey. They congregated at Bernie’s Bagels. They multiplied and disappeared. They ran off to the coast and left Bernie’s behind. One time, the futurist Beck Hansen played in the basement of Bernie’s with Washboard Joe right there scrubbing away. It is all documented in some field recordings I made with him on that day. I had met Beck as a true vagabond in Paris. We busked around the town and traded songs. He wrote about it in Annie Leibowitz’s AMERICAN MUSICIANS book. When I watched him work I saw the past and the future come together. It was a mighty time.

I look forward to hearing any of your stories about Bernie’s Bagels, or Paris, for. that matter. I was lucky enough to be a young man living in Paris, and now of course, like the man said, I will carry it with me for the rest of my life.

PS….it’s not like I have been totally slacking….TOUR DATES BELOW….

I have finished two records in the last month. One is a collection of songs that was produced by Kevin Nolan and features a full backing band. Brad Jones is finishing the final mixes this week, and then it will be mastered. My plan is to release it in the Spring of 2026. Also, my alter ego DARK WATSON recorded a full album at home that will only be printed on vinyl. The digital will go to my Patreon page. Perhaps I’ll sprinkle some here on Substack. Either way, the work goes on, and the grass grows.

TIM EASTON TOUR 2025

5.10 VIERZON, FRANCE CAFE O BERRY

5.24 Morgantown, IN Americana Bean Fest

6.3 Kerville, TX Kerrville Folk Fest

6.5 Austin, TX Continental Gallery

6.6 Galveston, TX Old Quarter

6.7 Crockett, TX. Camp Street Cafe

6.19 Columbus, OH Natalie’s

7.18-19 Hatcher Pass Lodge, Alaska

7.22 Anchorage, AK Hillside House

7.26 McCarthy AK. Golden Saloon

7.30 Hope, AK Seaview Inn

7.31 Hope, AK Creekbend

8.1-4 Ninilchik, AK Salmonfest

8.7 Palmer, AK Butte Fest

8.8 Ester, AK The Malamute

8.10 Denali, AK Tonglen Lake Lodge

8.14-17 Eureka Springs, AR SONG WORKSHOP

10.5 Lynchburg, VA Village Series

10.10 Joshua Tree, CA Joshua Tree Music Fest

10.11 Claremont, CA Folk Music Center

11.28 San Sebastian, Spain Club 44

11.29 Zaragoza, Spain El Corazon Verde

12.13 Ocean Grove, NJ Jersey Shore Arts Center

JANUARY 2026 AUSTRALIA TBA

FEBRUARY 2026 fIREHORSE ALBUM RELEASE &. TOUR